Understanding the Two Parenting Models
High-conflict divorces present serious challenges when it comes to parenting arrangements, especially when communication between former spouses remains strained. Two primary post-divorce models commonly used are co-parenting and parallel parenting. Both aim to preserve and support a child’s relationship with each parent, but they differ significantly in how parental interaction is structured.
Co-parenting promotes collaboration and joint decision-making, while parallel parenting limits contact to reduce conflict. Recognising these differences is essential for selecting the most appropriate model to safeguard a child’s emotional health and long-term development.
Co-Parenting: Collaboration for the Child’s Sake
Co-parenting is a cooperative model where divorced parents share child-rearing responsibilities through communication and mutual respect. It offers consistency and emotional security for children, especially when parents work together effectively.
Research shows that children in successful co-parenting arrangements tend to thrive socially and emotionally. However, this approach requires civility—something often lacking after a high-conflict divorce. When tensions run high, regular interaction can lead to renewed disputes and emotional distress for the child, making co-parenting unsuitable in such cases.
If you choose co-parenting, here are the 6 basic rules for successful co-parenting after divorce.
Parallel Parenting: A Structured Approach for High-Conflict Situations
Parallel parenting minimises interaction between parents while ensuring both stay involved in the child’s life. Each parent independently manages responsibilities during their time, with essential communication handled in writing. This method is especially helpful when frequent contact leads to disputes.
Defined schedules and boundaries reduce conflict and confusion, protecting children from emotional stress. While less cooperative than co-parenting, it serves a protective purpose and is often recommended in cases involving intense disagreements or past domestic conflict.
Key Differences and When Each Works Best
The main distinction between co-parenting and parallel parenting lies in communication. Co-parenting encourages collaboration and shared decision-making, while parallel parenting restricts interaction to minimise conflict.
Co-parenting may work best:
- When parents can communicate respectfully
- If there is mutual trust and a willingness to cooperate
- In situations with little or no history of abuse or manipulation
Parallel parenting is better suited:
- For high-conflict or abusive relationships
- When direct communication consistently leads to arguments
- When one or both parents are unwilling or unable to cooperate
Our team, which includes some of the Best Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton, Alberta, has seen many families benefit from transitioning temporarily to parallel parenting and then moving toward a cooperative model as tensions ease.
Legal Considerations and Court Preferences
Alberta courts prioritise the best interests of the child and focus on creating stable, low-conflict environments. In high-conflict cases, judges often favour parallel parenting, setting clear boundaries, and minimising communication. Courts may also consult child psychologists or mediators.
Parenting plans must address decision-making responsibilities, especially around health, education, and religion. In parallel parenting, these may be divided or handled through structured dispute resolution to avoid future conflict.
Which Parenting Model Should You Choose?
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. In cases involving abuse, manipulation, or communication breakdown, parallel parenting is often the safest and most effective option.
However, if both parents can maintain respect and collaborate, co-parenting offers a more unified upbringing that benefits children long-term. The priority is shielding children from conflict, ensuring emotional stability, and maintaining healthy relationships.
If you’re facing a complex custody situation, our Child Custody Lawyers in Edmonton Alberta can help you navigate your legal rights and create a plan that reflects your child’s best interests.
Final Thoughts
High-conflict divorces demand realistic parenting solutions. Whether co-parenting or parallel parenting, the ultimate goal remains the same: raising well-adjusted children in a safe and loving environment.
At Kolinsky Law, we advocate for strategies that reduce conflict, promote stability, and protect your child’s well-being today and in the future.