by admin | Apr 16, 2025 | Blog, Child Custody, Divorce
Understanding the Two Parenting Models
High-conflict divorces present serious challenges when it comes to parenting arrangements, especially when communication between former spouses remains strained. Two primary post-divorce models commonly used are co-parenting and parallel parenting. Both aim to preserve and support a child’s relationship with each parent, but they differ significantly in how parental interaction is structured.
Co-parenting promotes collaboration and joint decision-making, while parallel parenting limits contact to reduce conflict. Recognising these differences is essential for selecting the most appropriate model to safeguard a child’s emotional health and long-term development.
Co-Parenting: Collaboration for the Child’s Sake
Co-parenting is a cooperative model where divorced parents share child-rearing responsibilities through communication and mutual respect. It offers consistency and emotional security for children, especially when parents work together effectively.
Research shows that children in successful co-parenting arrangements tend to thrive socially and emotionally. However, this approach requires civility—something often lacking after a high-conflict divorce. When tensions run high, regular interaction can lead to renewed disputes and emotional distress for the child, making co-parenting unsuitable in such cases.
If you choose co-parenting, here are the 6 basic rules for successful co-parenting after divorce.
Parallel Parenting: A Structured Approach for High-Conflict Situations
Parallel parenting minimises interaction between parents while ensuring both stay involved in the child’s life. Each parent independently manages responsibilities during their time, with essential communication handled in writing. This method is especially helpful when frequent contact leads to disputes.
Defined schedules and boundaries reduce conflict and confusion, protecting children from emotional stress. While less cooperative than co-parenting, it serves a protective purpose and is often recommended in cases involving intense disagreements or past domestic conflict.
Key Differences and When Each Works Best
The main distinction between co-parenting and parallel parenting lies in communication. Co-parenting encourages collaboration and shared decision-making, while parallel parenting restricts interaction to minimise conflict.
Co-parenting may work best:
- When parents can communicate respectfully
- If there is mutual trust and a willingness to cooperate
- In situations with little or no history of abuse or manipulation
Parallel parenting is better suited:
- For high-conflict or abusive relationships
- When direct communication consistently leads to arguments
- When one or both parents are unwilling or unable to cooperate
Our team, which includes some of the Best Divorce Lawyers in Edmonton, Alberta, has seen many families benefit from transitioning temporarily to parallel parenting and then moving toward a cooperative model as tensions ease.
Legal Considerations and Court Preferences
Alberta courts prioritise the best interests of the child and focus on creating stable, low-conflict environments. In high-conflict cases, judges often favour parallel parenting, setting clear boundaries, and minimising communication. Courts may also consult child psychologists or mediators.
Parenting plans must address decision-making responsibilities, especially around health, education, and religion. In parallel parenting, these may be divided or handled through structured dispute resolution to avoid future conflict.
Which Parenting Model Should You Choose?
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution. In cases involving abuse, manipulation, or communication breakdown, parallel parenting is often the safest and most effective option.
However, if both parents can maintain respect and collaborate, co-parenting offers a more unified upbringing that benefits children long-term. The priority is shielding children from conflict, ensuring emotional stability, and maintaining healthy relationships.
If you’re facing a complex custody situation, our Child Custody Lawyers in Edmonton Alberta can help you navigate your legal rights and create a plan that reflects your child’s best interests.
Final Thoughts
High-conflict divorces demand realistic parenting solutions. Whether co-parenting or parallel parenting, the ultimate goal remains the same: raising well-adjusted children in a safe and loving environment.
At Kolinsky Law, we advocate for strategies that reduce conflict, promote stability, and protect your child’s well-being today and in the future.
by admin | Jun 2, 2023 | Blog, Divorce
Deciding to end a marriage is a life-altering decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Before having a difficult conversation with your spouse about wanting a divorce in Edmonton, there are several important steps you should take to ensure you are emotionally prepared, well-informed, and ready to navigate the challenges that lie ahead. By taking these proactive measures, you can help minimise potential conflicts and complications during the divorce process. Let’s explore what you should do before telling your spouse about your decision to pursue a divorce.
1. Have you sought professional guidance?
Consulting with a qualified divorce attorney before initiating the conversation with your spouse is a crucial first step. Our knowledgeable lawyer specialising in family law can provide invaluable insights into the legal process, help you understand your rights and obligations, and offer guidance on the best course of action based on your unique circumstances. They can also assist you in planning your approach when discussing the divorce with your spouse.
2. Have you taken time for self-reflection and counseling?
Before having the conversation, it’s important to engage in self-reflection and emotional healing. Consider seeking counseling or therapy to help navigate through the emotional aspects of the divorce process. A professional counselor can provide guidance, support, and tools to help you cope with the emotional challenges that lie ahead.
3. Have you understood your financial situation?
Gather all the necessary financial documents and make copies of important records such as bank statements, tax returns, mortgage documents, and investment account statements. Understanding your current financial situation will enable you to make informed decisions during the divorce process. Additionally, start thinking about your financial goals post-divorce and create a budget to ensure you have a clear understanding of your financial needs and obligations.
4. Have you considered child custody and support?
If you have children, it is crucial to prioritise their well-being and plan for their custody and support. Reflect on what type of custody arrangement you believe would be in the best interest of your children and be prepared to discuss this with your spouse. Research local laws and regulations regarding child custody to gain a better understanding of what to expect during the legal process.
5. Have you preserved important records?
Secure any relevant documents that may be important during the divorce proceedings. This includes documents related to joint assets, debts, income, and expenses. Maintaining a record of these documents will help facilitate a smoother division of assets and a fair resolution of financial matters.
6. Have you sought support from loved ones?
Divorce can be emotionally taxing, so it’s crucial to lean on your support network during this challenging time. Reach out to trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional support and guidance. Having a strong support system can help alleviate some of the stress and loneliness that often accompanies the divorce process.
7. Have you considered mediation or collaborative divorce?
If you and your spouse are willing to work together amicably, explore alternative dispute resolution methods such as mediation or collaborative divorce. These processes can help minimise conflict, reduce costs, and allow for a more peaceful resolution. Discuss these options with our Edmonton lawyer to determine if they are suitable for your situation.
8. Have you prioritised your well-being?
Divorce can be emotionally draining, so it’s essential to take care of your physical and mental well-being. Focus on self-care activities that bring you joy and help reduce stress. Engage in regular exercise, maintain a healthy diet, and consider mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga. Prioritising your well-being will help you navigate the divorce process with greater resilience.
Remember, every divorce is unique, and the steps you need to take may vary based on your specific circumstances. Seeking professional advice, engaging in self-reflection, understanding your financial situation, considering child custody matters, preserving important records, seeking support from loved ones, exploring alternative dispute resolution, and prioritising your well-being are all crucial steps to take before telling your spouse you want a divorce.
by admin | Mar 12, 2019 | Blog, Divorce, Divorce and Separation, Divorce Attorney, Divorce Lawyer, Divorce Mediation
Making the decision whether to file for divorce is difficult and often comes after a long period of compromise, personal reflection and struggling to “make it work.” However, if you feel ending your marriage or common-law relationship is your only option, it is important not to rush into divorce proceedings as even the most amicable divorce can have serious personal and financial consequences. Realizing your marriage may end can be extremely emotional, but there are five practical things you should consider before filing for divorce.
1. Talk to a Counsellor
Before ending a marriage, it is always worth talking to a couples counsellor or an individual therapist. If counselling cannot resolve the issues in your relationship, it may be a sign divorce is the right option. However, therapy should not stop with the decision to end the marriage. A qualified counsellor can also help as you go through the steps of ending your marriage. Divorce counselling can help you identify what went wrong, develop coping strategies and ultimately move forward post-divorce.
2. Talk to a Lawyer
If divorce seems inevitable, talk to a lawyer. It is essential to understand your legal options and how your actions in the lead up to separation may affect the outcome of the divorce. You will need to identify your grounds for divorce, ensure you fulfill all requirements, understand the separation and waiting period, and be aware of the implications of a contested divorce if your spouse does not agree to an uncontested divorce. And that is all before getting into the more complex matters of splitting assets and determining child custody.
A great divorce attorney will do more than tell you to get a divorce. They will work hard for your interests through the entire process from filing for divorce to arriving at a separation agreement.
3. Set a Goal for the Divorce
How do you want your life after marriage to look? Determine what you want from your divorce, whether it is a clean break, an amicable co-parenting relationship or to hang on to property and assets you are entitled to. Identify with your lawyer what your priorities are and develop a strategy to achieve your goals.
If you still are on speaking terms with your spouse, trying to find a compromise that meets each party’s most important priorities may be worthwhile.
4. Safeguard Your Assets
Take steps to safeguard your assets as soon as possible. You may want to do this before asking your spouse for a divorce. It is an unfortunate reality that in the emotionally charged period at the start of a breakup some people lash out by depleting joint bank accounts, lines of credit and credit cards. Make sure you have your own individual accounts to manage your finances and where possible freeze or close any shared accounts.
Do not move out until you have spoken to a lawyer and begun divorce proceedings. Leaving your home without good reason may result in loss of possession of the home or custody of your children. You may also not be able to return to the home until the court divides your property. If, however, your spouse is violent you should take all steps necessary to protect yourself and your children, including leaving the home.
5. Take Care of Your Children
If you have children, they should be your first concern in a divorce. Try to maintain their sense of security and continuity by working with your spouse to establish pick-up and drop-off schedules, and shared responsibility for activities and appointments as soon as possible. Prioritize making time for your children. Avoid letting the end of your marriage affect how you interact with your spouse as a co-parent and don’t try to come between them and your children.
Divorce can be a long and emotionally draining process. By taking these five practical steps to prepare yourself, you can ensure a smoother divorce process and a better outcome for yourself and your family.
